I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize