i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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