If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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