you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Is Oprah even human
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize