I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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