if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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