You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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