Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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