does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize