I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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