Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize