dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize