I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize