So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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