david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
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I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
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I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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