so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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