I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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