1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
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i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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