PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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