WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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