I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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