my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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