What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize