NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He did a backflip because drugs
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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