She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize