True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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