I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize