You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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