I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize