Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
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in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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