I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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