I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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