I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize