Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize