I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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