I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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