He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
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Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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