Im at strip club and am horny
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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