I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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