Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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