I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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