What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize