Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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