So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Help. Why am I so naked?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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