We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
someone owes me an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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