I showed him my bush... on skype.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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