i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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