man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize