Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
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You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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