a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize